After the rain [Shinya Hiiragi x Reader]

-"Soft tiger, warm tiger, little ball of... fur?"

Grey clouds in the sky, covering the sun and its very welcomed light. Destroyed buildings all around, a real apocalyptic sight. It was only the middle of the afternoon and yet, it seemed like the night was already here for hours. No trees, no birds, everything was only desolation and silence, like a bad omen. But as bad as it could be, it didn't prevent a certain girl from singing her happy tune.

-"Soft tiger, warm tiger, rawr, rawr, rawr!

-What are you saying, [Name]? It doesn't even rhyme!"

A few steps behind her, a young man was listening to this strange song, an amused glint in his eyes. Blue like the sky... or maybe the ocean? How long it has been, since [Name] saw the ocean for the last time? But that blue, the color of Shinya Hiiragi's eyes, was her favorite. Even when the heavens were at the verge of crying, and the rain was ready to pour at any instant, those orbs remained blue, forever.

-"Who cares if it doesn't rhyme? It's about your Byakkomaru, you couldn't tell?"

The white tiger, a fierce demon trapped and sealed into a rifle. His Cursed Gear, whom she admired greatly. Everytime Shinya was using Byakkomaru, the girl was at awe before the manifestation who occured before her. Ethereal tigers roaming around the battlefield, showing no mercy to any opponent who crossed their path. A longe-range weapon was so convenient! Although, with her very own Cursed Gear, she was satisfied greatly. Over the time, she managed to form a quite tight bond with the demon inside, one of trust. Not friendship, nor appreciation. Just the trust between two partners who were fighting together. After all, it was still a malevolent spirit, driven with malicious intents, and developing a sort of liking to it was nearly impossible. [Name] loved her weapon, but not the person inside it. She also loved Byakkomaru, despite not knowing it. And of course, she loved the man wielding it.

-"Eehhh, why don't you sing something about me, for once?"

The little pout he made was, of course, just an act. A fake, shown in the sole purpose of making the girl laugh. Because even if the skies were grey and gloomy, that laugh was like the sun to Shinya. Just like Mahiru was for Guren. Just by thinking about it, the clouds in the silver-haired soldier's heart came back and his expression was a little sad. Nothing really visible, but enough for [Name] to see. And her laugh went silent. Only the ghost of a smile remained on her face, as if it was enough to chase away that feeling lingering inside her.

Why won't he tell me anything?

Shinya Hiiragi's past. His days in school, with Lieutenant Colonel Guren Ichinose and that woman, Mahiru Hiiragi. Seven years already had passed since the events leading to her death. [Name] didn't really know what happened back then, and to be honest, she didn't care. Mahiru was the one who created the Cursed Gears and for that, she was thankful. But the Hiiragi heiress was also Shinya's fiancée, and obviously, it let more than a scar in the sniper's memories. Scars she didn't know anything about. And it hurt. It hurt so much, and nothing could be done against it. As long as he stayed silent, that ache the girl felt inside her would never disappear.

-"I'm afraid that, if I start to sing again, rain will really fall upon us!"

And so she laughed again to soothe, if only a little, her sadness. And also his. Indeed, Shinya smiled at her words, and everything went better. A sweet lie, a short one, but both of them were happy right now. Sharing a moment like this, in the middle of the destroyed city which demons and vampires claimed as their property. It was perfection. If only they could stay like this, laughing at silly things after a well-fought battle, but they knew it wouldn't last. Because reality was the strongest one, in the end, and the past would always come back to haunt the man. However many times he could be smiling or laughing, this wouldn't change, even if he tried. Because he was trying, oh so hard, to turn the page and walk forward.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when his sleep was full of nightmares of what happened so long ago, he would suddenly woke up in tears, breathless and shivering, covered in sweat. In his mind, Byakkomaru would talk to him, asking what was wrong, even though he knew. Of course he knew. He used those same memories the first time he met Shinya, when one tried to take control of the other. That time, he lost, but he eventually found joy in the fact that even without him, his new master could never be at peace. And so the mighty Major General, who was just a weak human after all, wandered in the barracks, the moon mocking him through the windows, until he faced a wooden frame at the end of the corridor. He knew very well the woman who slept past the door, for she was a friend dear to him, just like Guren was. But it was also different. A silent friendship, built upon untold, forsaken stories. Inside the room, darkness prevailed. But Shinya could hear [Name]'s soft breath, and somehow, he already calmed down, just like this. For her sole presence was enough, yet he wanted more. His tears stopped, his heart was beating at a normal pace again, but he still couldn't resist the force attracting him to his friend's bed. As soon as he sit down, she was awake, her eyes gazing at his, still a bit sleepy. She didn't turn on the light, no need for that. No need for words, either. Silence was more efficient than a thousand sentences between the two of them to understand what was going on. And so she embraced him, carressing his back and his hair, whispering little nothings in his ear. Her voice was medicine, her touch a blessing. Shinya rested his head on her lap, holding her hand, and she would then sing him a sweet lullaby until the sun pierced through the curtains.

-"Haha, you're right. Let's meet with the others and go back home!"

He knew rain wouldn't fall if she sang. Light rays would pierce through the clouds, showering the ground they were walking on with warmth. The sun would shine above their head, and everything would be okay, just like during those nights spent together. If only it could be so simple... Behind those fake smiles, that goofy behavior Shinya was showing to everyone, even to his best friend Guren; behind all of this, would he be able, one day, to tell the truth to [Name]? His true feelings, his fears and hopes? How would she react, learning that her friend was just a broken man hiding behind a mere façade? That thought made him laugh internally. How pathetic. He was a Hiiragi, he couldn't afford to be tormented with such trivial things. That woman, walking by his side, was his dear friend and partner in battle. Nothing more.

And that, again, was a lie. A really sad one.




Later that day, when the sun was setting - or so it should be, given the hour - life was going on as always. Acting like nothing happened, because nothing happened, really, both Shinya and [Name] went on their separate ways, like every evening. A few chit-chat followed by one or two jokes and they would laugh before wishing a good night to each other. She would turn her back first, before walking away from him. He would stay still a few seconds, looking at her, a soft smile gracing his lips before going on the opposite direction. Sometimes, it was the other way around. However, they would never do it at the same time, ever. They would just go in their respective room, and let sleep take them until the next morning. But for once, [Name] didn't go in her room. She stopped her pace in the middle of the hall, a firm determination in her eyes. This time, she wouldn't let things stay in their current state. She was tired of being worried, sad, everything! Turning around, she ran to the other side of the aisle, where Shinya's room was. Barely knocking, she opened the door, closing it behind her as soon as she entered her friend's apartments.

-"... Ah, [Name]?"

At first, the girl didn't notice, but the blue-eyed man's surprised and embarassed voice made her realize: he was shirtless. Already changing before going to bed, probably. She was still wearing her uniform, minus the jacket, but Shinya wasn't wearing anything. Except his pants, of course.

-"[Name], are you alright? You seemed so serious when you entered, and now... Oh, are you speechless because of the sight? Haha!"

How could she answer that? It wasn't the first time she saw his torso, after all. He always slept half-naked, even when he crawled in her bed for a hug and a song. But it was in the darkness of her room. And now, with the lights still on... It was different. But also very enjoyable.

-"Your ability to eat your breakfast while running like a 14-year old schoolgirl is the only thing leaving me speechless."

A casual conversation between friends: that's what made up their days. Letting a chuckle out, Shinya quickly put his shirt on, his eyes following [Name] as she sit on his bed, legs crossed and a solemn expression on her face. Something wasn't right, he knew. Even when she was serious, she wasn't that much. Also, he could see a bit of anguish in her usually bright orbs. Why? His beloved sun was so cold, right now. If he embraced her like she did so often with him, would she warm up? Would she smile again, laugh and say she was just faking being upset by something?

She sighed. Shinya was now in front of her, holding her hands, looking at her, desperately trying to see anything in those mesmerizing eyes of hers that would help him understand what was going on. Did he do something wrong? Thinking about it, yes, he did everything wrong. By not telling her about his past. About Mahiru and Guren. He wasn't the friend she deserved. But he would set things right. Here and now, even if it wouldn't change anything in the end. Now was the time to unveil the truth.

He was ready to tell her everything.

She was ready to ask him about everything.

-"Shinya, I want to know..."

-"[Name], I will tell you..."

At the same time, they spoke. A perfect synchronicity, who would have made them laugh if the atmosphere wasn't so tense. No need to finish what they were saying to understand. They looked at each other, dazed, and for the first time in forever, they were happy. Finally, he could tell her about what was kept secret for so long, without the fear of being rejected for unknown reasons. Sitting by her side, his hand still intertwined with hers, he spoke.

-"The story is simple, really. Mahiru was my fiancée, she loved Guren and not me. Not that I mind, really, and I acted as the cover-up to allow them some time together. But you know, the day when Guren went bragging about how he slept with her... it kinda hurt. Why was I always cast aside? Even amongst the Hiiragis, I'm only an outsider. They welcomed me because I was supposed to marry Mahiru and yet, even her didn't look at me at all. Guren... is my best friend, but I felt so betrayed back then. Who can I trust? You're here, but for how long? Say, [Name]... will you, one day, abandon me as well? Cast me aside, should I become useless to you? I don't think something like love is allowed to me but... being your friend is so nice."

Shoulders quivering, eyes hidden by silver bangs, hands gripping on hers. Shinya Hiiragi was a mess. But he said the truth. Did the girl felt better, knowing this? She didn't even know. But one step further has been made in their so peculiar friendship, and that was a point to be glad about. What should she say? What should she do? Nothing. She remained silent for a few minutes, just clutching his hand.

-"Shinya."

Upon hearing his name, he lift up his head, staring at her. Was she crying? Tears were forming at the corner of her eyes, yet wouldn't fall. It was his fault. He made her like this. He was such a failure, really. He drew back his hand, but soon felt a pair of arms pulling him into a hug. Ah, those hugs. They felt like paradise, even now. So, [Name] wasn't angry at him? Resting his head on her shoulder, his own arms around her frame, Shinya let himself be entranced by the scent of her hair, like he was embracing her for the very first time ever.

-"You've always been useless to me, you know. But I don't care. I like you. I love you! I want to be your friend. Your confident. Your lover. Everything you want me to be."

A sincere confession, from the most sincere woman he ever knew. The same woman he loved. Really, was it alright for him to be so at peace with himself? Shinya could, at last, let go of the past and move forward. At last, the rain in his heart stopped, and the clouds disappeared. Maybe he should say something, like "thanks" or "I love you too". But he was at loss for words, even if a hundred of them were fighting in his head - and not coming from Byakkomaru. Instead, he just laid [Name] on his bed, kissing her tenderly, yet with enough passion to let her know how much he was grateful.



-"Just be my sunshine."